Pseudonymous Internet Commenter Overthrows Modern Physics, Revolutionizes Science

The worldwide scientific community is reeling today from the revelation that all of its carefully amassed, experimentally verified conclusions regarding the laws of physics have been overturned by one brilliant internet commenter.
In one fell swoop, a commenter at the blog Pharyngula known as erodinbladewin shocked the world by proving the existence of precognition, telekinesis, and other paranormal abilities, demonstrating them conclusively to unnamed colleagues and reporting this to other commenters at the blog.
The actual evidence and documentation of the successful demonstrations will be forthcoming for review by the rest of the world as soon as the other commenters at Pharyngula start treating erodinbladewin with respect.
"This changes everything," said one well-known physicist, who wished to remain anonymous due to scientists'  inability to admit when they're wrong. "I can't believe I've been so stupid and close-minded. This erodinbladewin has completely torn down the scientific paradigm. And to think, I laughed at him at the university. We all did. But who's laughing now?"
It is not yet known where erodinbladewin hails from, or what his real name might be; also unknown is who he demonstrated his gifts to. What is known is that he caused one of these witnesses to nearly crap his pants and throw up.
"Well, that is the Gold Standard of scientific evidence, after all," said the physicist. "Any time some guy submits comments to a blog claiming someone somewhere has witnessed his use of paranormal abilities, you have to accept it. To do anything less would be retarded."
Among the remarkable powers erodinbladewin has demonstrated to his friends is the ability to cause a roll of paper towels to flap without using his hands.
Also needing a new theoretical model is the study of electromagnetic fields and the behavior of light, as it turns out the sky appears blue due to reflections off the surface of bodies of water and not due to the scattering effect of the atmosphere, as previously thought. History books will need to be re-written as well, with the surprising revelation that everyone in the world thought the earth was shaped like a cube until Ponce de Leon circumnavigated it.
And, in possibly the most shocking discovery of all, it turns out that squirrels are more intelligent than human beings.
"Definitely a game-changer," said Stephen Hawking, perhaps the most respected physicist and cosmologist alive until the emergence of erodinbladewin.  "We'll need to re-think everything we thought we knew. Fortunately, the Cambridge University campus where I work is lousy with squirrels. It's just a matter of all of us putting our little heads together."

I Get These Catalogs In The Mail

Admittedly, this isn't one of them. I made it up. It is not-so-loosely based, however, on a real, actual catalog for some outfit called "Fungi Perfecti," who make numerous claims of healthful results from consuming their mushroom products, only to negate each one with an official disclaimer at the bottom of the page.
*Note: this statement is not intended to convey the uselessness of Fungi Perfecti, or in any way denigrate their crappy products.

Ah, Those Children's Classics

It appears that the anti-vaccination crowd has branched out into a new medium to get their message across; the horrible dangers of disease-preventing vaccines, and the joys of "embracing childhood diseases," will now be communicated early and effectively to children with the publication of Melanie's Marvellous Measles, a groundbreaking new  book sure to become a classic piece of literature for the young.
Because diseases are natural, and nature is good and perfect, and Big Pharma or whoever don't want you to know that, and vaccines cause autism and communism and bagism and ismism and whatnot, it has become necessary to counter the lies and subvert the dominant paradigm as early in our children's lives as possible. Only through books such as this can we immunize  defend our children against the daily deluge of propaganda from the Medical Community. Hey, it's all about keeping them safe, right?  Safe from...doctors and stuff.
Shown here is an apparently real ad for an apparently real book for children, with Melanie taking off on the wonderful adventure known as the measles. 
This is an adventure that I have been on myself, having had the measles sometime, as near as I can figure, in 1963 or 1964. The memories are somewhat vague, but I'm pretty sure it didn't involve running through fields of pretty flowers while waving my arms around. Perhaps this book would have been useful then; maybe I just didn't take the right approach. Although I do think I could make a good argument that I embraced my childhood disease, if by "embracing childhood disease" you mean "picking at the little red pustules covering my body."
This might not be the best subject for humor, what with measles being a potentially crippling and even fatal disease, but I just can't help myself.
Without further ado, here are some other potential new children's classics, re-done with an eye toward singing the sweet joys of childhood illness.

UFO Sightings: A Flowchart To Aid Identification

Wondering if what you saw in the sky was an alien spacecraft? The odds that it was can increase or decrease significantly depending on where you saw it. Below is a handy flowchart to determine if the odds in favor are high enough to warrant further investigation of your sighting. Hint: If you live in the United States, it's probably time to pick up some tinfoil. Although in a pinch, most any sort of metal hat will do. You can probably find something in your kitchen, like the vegetable steamer I used to fake the UFO photo above.

(Note: this was orignally featured as part of a "Cracked Topic Page" on UFO Hotspots written by meeeee.)

Dammit, Why Does This Always Happen Right Before a Big Date?

OK, it's a screen capture from The X-Files.
And here's another:

The out-of-focus lady in the rear is a psychologist trying to help the young man in the picture deal with his feelings of isolation and see himself as the good, worthwhile person that he is underneath his monstrous appearance. They appear to be making progress until the young man tries to eat Scully's brain and Mulder has to shoot him.
Damn, I miss The X-Files.

Homeopathy For Dumbasses

Homeopathic remedies are finding their way to our supermarket shelves and are even sold in many pharmacies alongside evidence-based medicine, by medical professionals. Where do these remedies come from and how do they work?