10 Irrefutable Objections To Evolution
2. If evolution was real, there would be crocoducks. And catdogs. Have you ever seen those? Have you ever seen a horse fly? Or a barn dance? I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, science cannot explain.
3. Evolution violates the second law of thermodynamics, which states that complicated stuff is so improbable, if the universe lived forever there would only be eight.
4. Evolution doesn't explain why there is something rather than nothing. Heck, it doesn't even try. Some theory.
7. If evolution was real, it's obvious that my vacuum-sealed jar of pasteurized peanut butter would be teeming with new life forms within a few days, followed by intelligent catdogs eating my face every time I tried to make a sandwich. And thus my lunch disproves evolution.
9. Evolution is like a tornado blowing through a junkyard and somehow producing a working 747 airplane, because heredity and natural selection are completely random and have only minutes to work before the weather changes. Also, everyone knows that tornadoes prefer trailer parks to junkyards. So, if evolution was true, trailer parks would have airports!
10. Evolution is just a theory. Contrast this with Biblical creation, a powerful narrative set in a magic garden with talking animals and an angry giant. Why shouldn't this be taught in our science classes? At least no one would be bringing up Hitler all the time.