Republican Cupboard Is Rather Bare

I got really hungry the other day and wasn't in the mood for Democrat. So I went looking in the Republican cupboard, thinking surely I would find a good, solid meal there. Good old Republicans, always easy to prepare, always filling, always good for you. 

I found some cookies; unfortunately, I'm pretty sure they went stale a long time ago.

I found some dessert mix, but just looking at the box made me kind of queasy.  So that was out.

Then I found these fish sticks in the freezer, but that looked a lot like starvation. And I was already doing that.

Then I looked for maybe some breakfast cereal, but the last time I ate this shit it cut the crap out of the inside of my mouth.

The other cereal looked less dangerous on the face of it, but I had an idea I might regret it later.

I thought maybe I could spice it up a bit, but all I could find was this weird sauce that didn't make any sense.

I found this other stuff that wasn't completely rotten; it had that going for it, but on the other hand there just didn't seem to be much point in bothering with it.

Obviously, if I had any santorum on hand, it wouldn't be in the kitchen.


Sigh...well, I guess it's back to the Democrat cupboard. At least I can figure on living another day.