I found some cookies; unfortunately, I'm pretty sure they went stale a long time ago.
I found some dessert mix, but just looking at the box made me kind of queasy. So that was out.
Then I found these fish sticks in the freezer, but that looked a lot like starvation. And I was already doing that.
Then I looked for maybe some breakfast cereal, but the last time I ate this shit it cut the crap out of the inside of my mouth.
I found this other stuff that wasn't completely rotten; it had that going for it, but on the other hand there just didn't seem to be much point in bothering with it.
Obviously, if I had any santorum on hand, it wouldn't be in the kitchen.
Sigh...well, I guess it's back to the Democrat cupboard. At least I can figure on living another day.