9/15/12

Republicans Show Their Understanding Of The Democratic Process Again


This adorable political ad has been showing up around the 'net recently:



(Chip Cravaack is an incumbent Republican congressman from Minnesota.)

Welcome to Republicanland, where a political party trying to garner enough seats in congress to establish a majority is seen as an attempt at a takeover. Loaded word much?

Yeah. Obviously the Democratic Party is a dark conspiracy, a bunch of like-minded individuals banding together to gain legal authority by...winning elections. Eleventy!!!!

Meanwhile, Republican primary runner-up Rick Santorum was recently seen and heard decrying the fact that smart people aren't on his side:


Understand that this is a wealthy white man with three degrees from public universities, including a law degree, who thinks our laws should be derived from the holy book of his religion, complaining about "elites" who want to tell you what to do. Of course this is vastly different from people like Santorum, who merely want to be elected to positions in government where they have the authority to make laws and shit.

These people are about a hop and a skip away from accusing their opponents of being practicing thespians who are sometimes guilty of exacerbation.

Wait, sorry--I forgot that understanding what words mean makes me "elitist." Yeah, I went to college. Better take my vote away.

To sum it up: a political party is a conspiracy, and trying to gain a majority in congress is a takeover attempt. Wanting exceptional, intelligent, educated representatives in government is elitist. Elected officials drafting and passing laws are telling you what to do. Judges who issue legal rulings are activists legislating from the bench.

Next week: How Obama stole the 2008 election by getting more people to vote for him than his opponent did. Clearly he could only have accomplished this by using persuasive techniques. Did you ever think such a thing could happen in America?

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