4/12/09

Bills QB Already Conspiring Against Him, Says T.O.

New Buffalo Bills wide receiver Terrell Owens is getting that funny feeling again.
"I saw Trent Edwards and Lee Evans passing notes during a recent film session," said the mercurial, bombastic, idiotic 13 year veteran this week. "I’m pretty sure those notes were about me. They were designing new route trees, like maybe they’re building a tree fort and I’m not invited, and sharing secrets with each other, and making fun of the way I talk…probably."
When asked if that really happened, Owens added, "I think they’re both gay."
Owens, according to witnesses, then climbed up on his roof to do jumping jacks. When asked if this wasn’t ridiculously dangerous, his agent, looking on, said, "Of course not. After all, he has 6.5 million reasons not to fall off. Besides, his powerful alligator arms give him tremendous grip."
Bills officials shook their heads sadly and declined to comment.