Jets’ Super Bowl Parade Sparsely Attended

Feb 10, 2010
After weeks of planning, the much-ballyhooed New York Jets Super Bowl Parade was held yesterday, the team riding down the Canyon of Heroes in New York City in front of a crowd estimated at roughly 17.

"I told you we’d have a parade," bellowed Jets coach Rex Ryan as several pieces of confetti floated forlornly by. "Nobody believed in us. They still don’t. And yet, here we are!"

Star quarterback Mark Sanchez received the loudest ovation, which consisted of four homeless guys clapping their hands together to keep them warm. Each coach and player was presented with a key to the city, although Braylon Edwards reportedly dropped his down a storm grate.

In other New York football news, it was revealed today that Revis Island is actually a peninsula.

"Next year's parade will be even better."