Perry Train Pulls Out With a Jerk

It’s official; Texas governor Rick Perry has announced his candidacy for President of the United States.  And he’s not just another candidate; he is currently regarded as a front runner for the Republican nomination, along with former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney.

Perry has no shortage of qualifications for the highest office in the land; among other things, he has: talked of Texas seceding from the union, pledged to treat the Constitution as not the highest law in the land, and offered prayer as an actual way to solve our nation’s problems.  As opposed to, you know, actually working on solutions.  Oh, and he got a “D” in economics at Texas A&M.  Presumably, part of that “D” belonged to God; he obviously prayed harder than he studied.

Meanwhile, Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty became the first to announce his withdrawal from the race. Something to do with his 14% showing in an Iowa straw poll. I guess the headline there would be: Pawlenty Cites Lack Of Charisma, Inability To Win; Withdraws From Race.
Although few seem to be taking Michele Bachmann seriously, she has definitely inserted herself into the running in a firm, forceful manner.

Fresh off her win in the Iowa straw poll, Bachmann can use the boost to her credibility as a candidate to begin pulling in endorsements in huge lumps.
And I’m sure Elvis, sitting up in Heaven with a shotgun pointed at the TV, was thrilled to hear Michele wish him a “happy birthday” on the anniversary of the day he fell off the toilet and died in a pool of vomit.
Er...thanks. Blam.

So things are definitely in motion...for some candidates, at least. And here, to reflect the current situation, are some designs I came up with for republican campaign buttons. Yes, I am available to work on a campaign full time. To quote the sagely, and probably drunk, George Jones: the race is on, and it looks like heartache.

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